we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
