He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
