Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
