It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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