fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
