It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I met the friendliest cop last night
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
