Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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