I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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