I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He is an equal opportunity slut.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
