i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I would ride that face into the sunset
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
