Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
