He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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