My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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