It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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