she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he was CRYING into my vagina
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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