She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
