I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
