She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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