Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
