The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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