Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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