You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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