I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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