he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
