I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm always down for nudity.
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