Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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