kristin has been a bad kristin
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
