Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
