You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize