Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
