i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
