Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
