I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
