i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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