Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
