I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
