Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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