if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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