I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
