Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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