You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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