does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
