I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Fuck appropriateness.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
