Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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