i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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