You're completely useless in the revolution.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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