OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
