margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
