I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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