dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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